This memorably unmemorable figure, gifted rugby player before turning to politics, will now try to make No 10 turn professional.
These moves are like those of a boxer who throws his arms round his opponent in an attempt to save himself from a knock-out blow.
This negative Toryism can eke out victories against average opponents, but it is no guide to winning well – or at all at a time when capitalism is being questioned.
Plus: Bad Suarez. Useless Obama. Kinnock, the new Miliband. And: Make the most of your mother while you still have time.