My 2016 wish: a vow of silence from our pompous, hypocritical, self-obsessed political celebrities.
I have a recurring nightmare, which I now find has made its way into the real world – the Mediterranean, to be precise.
Plus: Bennett’s brain fade. Why I will not put my name in for Kensington. No to Sol Campbell. Why there are no gay people in Alabama. And: arise, Lord Montgomerie!