Dear ConHome reader,
On July 20th, during the Parliamentary stage of this leadership election, I issued a statement as follows: “I’m #Ready4Rishi. I want him in Number Ten”.
The next day, I was photographed amidst a crowd of colleagues from his campaign outside St Stephen’s entrance, brandishing a placard declaring “I support Sunak”.
I’m deeply disappointed to see that these events are being taken out of context, and am grateful to have this chance to correct the record.
When I said that I’m #Ready4Rishi, indeed I am: ready, that is, to explain to him why I am now backing Liz, as her close friends call her. And I certainly want him in Number Ten – and then straight out of it again, as soon as he’s sworn loyalty to her.
As for my placard, I support Sunak, as it said. That’s to say, I support him as a fellow Conservative, just as I support all my fellow Conservatives. Not to mention as a close colleague. Well, a colleague, anyway.
I profoundly regret that earlier in the contest he may somehow have gained the impression that I would vote for him. Can I make it clear that I have adjusted my position because
he’s going to lose of profound policy disagreements.
I have grown increasingly concerned by his constantly changing positions on [Jason, please fill in here. Put down whatever you like.]
Furthermore, there has been a misreporting of my remarks as a member of one of Lord Ashcroft’s latest focus groups, reported on this site earlier this week.
It is claimed that when asked what animals Sunak and Truss reminded me of I said in his case “our very own hooded cobra, poised to squeeze Starmer to death”. And that in her case I replied “a yapping Yorkshire terrier who should be put down asap”.
I have no recollection of either remark. It may be that my reference to Sunak as “a backstabbing grass snake that Starmer will crush beneath his heel” was misheard.
As far as Liz is concerned, I would have misspoken in saying other than that she is a British bulldog…no, better still, a lioness – who will no doubt in due course score a mass of goals for our splendid ladies’ national football team!
For I have come to see that she
is going to win will make the greatest leader of our Party since the last one, and I have every hope that she will give me a job sort the crisis facing the country, including such issues as [Jason, if you wouldn’t mind? Thanks.]
Talking of work, may I take this opportunity to thank the Prime Minister for his generosity in appointing me jobshare Chancellor of the Duchy of Staffordshire last month with licence to attend alternate Cabinet meetings.
I’m sure you will agree with me that government has got far too big, and that I have been able to fill all five departmental posts myself has nothing to do with no-one else being willing to step up and everything to do with a triumph of political economy.
My eight week study visit to Barbados has given me time to reflect upon the necessity of my departments’s 500,000 staff returning to their desks immediately. Enough of this woke nonsense about working from wherever you like.
I will always be unswervingly grateful to the Prime Minister to the end of my days, or else until his resignation honours are published, whichever is sooner.
I deeply admire though am not necessarily in a position to endorse, nor in one not unnecessarily to endorse, the Bring Back Boris campaign so ably led by that chap he put in the House of Lords.
Plus that other bloke who led the Liberals as recently as 1908. So: #LizForLeader it is, then. Not to mention #LoyaltoLiz for as long as it takes, however long that may be.
Rt Hon Sir J.Alfred Prufrock, MP for
Bray Grummidge West.