Linden Kemkaran is a writer, broadcaster and was the Conservative candidate for Bradford East in 2019.
The genie is well and truly out of the bottle when it comes to children and smartphones. Unfettered access to the internet and all that it entails is now seen as being normal for very young children.
Any parent that tries to hold back the tide either by refusing to give their child a phone or tablet, or by restricting usage, finds themselves up against a tsunami of problems, none of which have an easy solution.
The disgusting and tragic murder of teenager Brianna Ghey by two other teenagers, who apparently watched ghastly violent videos as they prepared to attack their victim, has drawn fresh attention to the problem of young people having access to such material at the click of a button.
We’ve also seen recently the deaths of other teenagers who’ve committed suicide or self-harmed with tragic consequences after being in chat rooms or viewing content that effectively messed with their heads with awful outcomes.
‘Just don’t give them a smartphone’, say people who’ve presumably not brought up kids in this digital age. This only works if every single other parent is on board.
I tried this when my son started secondary school back in 2015, just when the first wave of ‘old smartphones’ were routinely being handed down from parent to child. I bought him a Nokia ‘brick’ and told him that he could text or make calls and that was that.
He was unhappy about it sure, but I’m the kind of parent who is fairly sanguine with a bit of aggro if I truly believe in the reasons for saying ‘no’ to something, and the thought of an eleven-year-old having access to such a powerful device was anathema to me.
And, back in 2015, if other parents had done the same, I would have probably managed to keep this smartphone ban going for a good few years. But the trouble with smartphones is that they tend to take over your life and you end up using them to organise everything from work to social life and beyond. Us adults do it and, lo and behold, so do our kids.
If someone doesn’t have a smartphone with WhatsApp and other speedy communication apps then they are effectively shut out of a whole world of conversations, gatherings, parties, and gossip.
That’s fine if you want to live like a hermit, but the whole point of being a teenager is to be social, to make good friends, to get invited to things; all of which now happens online. Nothing breaks your heart faster as a parent than seeing your child friendless and miserable.
This has gone far beyond just having the right trainers or branded bag to be in with the in crowd (a shallow game that strong-minded parents can avoid playing); this is basic communication, and teenagers need it.
We are seeing in a mental health crisis, the results of kids effectively locked away during Covid with their parents for months and months on end, deprived of normal social interactions with people of their own age. The damage was lasting – and I’m afraid the same can be said for depriving kids of a device on which they can be part of what’s going on.
We have to adjust to how much smartphones have changed everything, much as a hundred years ago people slowly had to accept that the motor car was replacing the horse and taught their kids how to cross the road safely. We must now do the same with the smartphone and put in place structures to help our young people not get damaged by technology.
I’d like to see the Government launch a public safety campaign. Those of us old enough to remember TV in the 1970s and early 80s probably still have nightmares about the dangers of playing on railway lines, running out from behind an ice-cream van, or talking to strangers.
Yes, it’s the parent’s job to keep their child safe, but a simple campaign that clearly warns our young people of the dangers of being online too much, accessing pornography or violent images, chatting to strangers etc might just help parents set some much-needed boundaries.
‘But it’s the parents’ job to parent!’; ‘No to the nanny state!’, I hear you cry. Well yes, and most parents really try to do their best. But when you’re dealing with smartphones which contain content that is as addictive to children as cocaine, you’re going to need some help with that to break the cycle.
Back in 2016 after I’d taken the view that my son having no smartphone and therefore no social life was too high a price to pay for my own ideological beliefs, I came up with an idea to manage, rather than banish outright, the problem. Along with Anna Firth (now MP for Southend West), another concerned mum, we campaigned locally to introduce a regular “digital sunset” in schools.
This meant entire classes or even year groups of children would agree for a period of time to all switch off their devices at an agreed time each night until the next morning. The idea was that if all your friends were offline, it was safe for you to be too. No FOMO (fear of missing out) and a chance to put the phones away, spend time on other activities, and give your brain a chance to unwind. God forbid one or two might even pick up a book!
It was simple, easy to implement and totally cost-free. The schools loved it (even back then they could see how the whole smartphone thing was going to pan out) and most parents welcomed it too.
Did the kids like it? Well yes, on the whole they did. But actually that’s beside the point: sometimes the adults really do have to be in charge, regardless of whether it’s popular with the kids, and I feel that this is one of those times.
Most adults must surely know without doubt that giving children free rein on the internet cannot be a good thing. Ghey’s murder is the latest, but it won’t the last, case of young minds being warped by social media and unrestricted internet use. If we are to prevent yet another tragic case then the Government must step in.
Give parents the framework within which they can set realistic rules around screentime and stick to them. If everyone’s on board, then it has a chance of working. The alternative is too awful to contemplate.
Linden Kemkaran is a writer, broadcaster and was the Conservative candidate for Bradford East in 2019.
The genie is well and truly out of the bottle when it comes to children and smartphones. Unfettered access to the internet and all that it entails is now seen as being normal for very young children.
Any parent that tries to hold back the tide either by refusing to give their child a phone or tablet, or by restricting usage, finds themselves up against a tsunami of problems, none of which have an easy solution.
The disgusting and tragic murder of teenager Brianna Ghey by two other teenagers, who apparently watched ghastly violent videos as they prepared to attack their victim, has drawn fresh attention to the problem of young people having access to such material at the click of a button.
We’ve also seen recently the deaths of other teenagers who’ve committed suicide or self-harmed with tragic consequences after being in chat rooms or viewing content that effectively messed with their heads with awful outcomes.
‘Just don’t give them a smartphone’, say people who’ve presumably not brought up kids in this digital age. This only works if every single other parent is on board.
I tried this when my son started secondary school back in 2015, just when the first wave of ‘old smartphones’ were routinely being handed down from parent to child. I bought him a Nokia ‘brick’ and told him that he could text or make calls and that was that.
He was unhappy about it sure, but I’m the kind of parent who is fairly sanguine with a bit of aggro if I truly believe in the reasons for saying ‘no’ to something, and the thought of an eleven-year-old having access to such a powerful device was anathema to me.
And, back in 2015, if other parents had done the same, I would have probably managed to keep this smartphone ban going for a good few years. But the trouble with smartphones is that they tend to take over your life and you end up using them to organise everything from work to social life and beyond. Us adults do it and, lo and behold, so do our kids.
If someone doesn’t have a smartphone with WhatsApp and other speedy communication apps then they are effectively shut out of a whole world of conversations, gatherings, parties, and gossip.
That’s fine if you want to live like a hermit, but the whole point of being a teenager is to be social, to make good friends, to get invited to things; all of which now happens online. Nothing breaks your heart faster as a parent than seeing your child friendless and miserable.
This has gone far beyond just having the right trainers or branded bag to be in with the in crowd (a shallow game that strong-minded parents can avoid playing); this is basic communication, and teenagers need it.
We are seeing in a mental health crisis, the results of kids effectively locked away during Covid with their parents for months and months on end, deprived of normal social interactions with people of their own age. The damage was lasting – and I’m afraid the same can be said for depriving kids of a device on which they can be part of what’s going on.
We have to adjust to how much smartphones have changed everything, much as a hundred years ago people slowly had to accept that the motor car was replacing the horse and taught their kids how to cross the road safely. We must now do the same with the smartphone and put in place structures to help our young people not get damaged by technology.
I’d like to see the Government launch a public safety campaign. Those of us old enough to remember TV in the 1970s and early 80s probably still have nightmares about the dangers of playing on railway lines, running out from behind an ice-cream van, or talking to strangers.
Yes, it’s the parent’s job to keep their child safe, but a simple campaign that clearly warns our young people of the dangers of being online too much, accessing pornography or violent images, chatting to strangers etc might just help parents set some much-needed boundaries.
‘But it’s the parents’ job to parent!’; ‘No to the nanny state!’, I hear you cry. Well yes, and most parents really try to do their best. But when you’re dealing with smartphones which contain content that is as addictive to children as cocaine, you’re going to need some help with that to break the cycle.
Back in 2016 after I’d taken the view that my son having no smartphone and therefore no social life was too high a price to pay for my own ideological beliefs, I came up with an idea to manage, rather than banish outright, the problem. Along with Anna Firth (now MP for Southend West), another concerned mum, we campaigned locally to introduce a regular “digital sunset” in schools.
This meant entire classes or even year groups of children would agree for a period of time to all switch off their devices at an agreed time each night until the next morning. The idea was that if all your friends were offline, it was safe for you to be too. No FOMO (fear of missing out) and a chance to put the phones away, spend time on other activities, and give your brain a chance to unwind. God forbid one or two might even pick up a book!
It was simple, easy to implement and totally cost-free. The schools loved it (even back then they could see how the whole smartphone thing was going to pan out) and most parents welcomed it too.
Did the kids like it? Well yes, on the whole they did. But actually that’s beside the point: sometimes the adults really do have to be in charge, regardless of whether it’s popular with the kids, and I feel that this is one of those times.
Most adults must surely know without doubt that giving children free rein on the internet cannot be a good thing. Ghey’s murder is the latest, but it won’t the last, case of young minds being warped by social media and unrestricted internet use. If we are to prevent yet another tragic case then the Government must step in.
Give parents the framework within which they can set realistic rules around screentime and stick to them. If everyone’s on board, then it has a chance of working. The alternative is too awful to contemplate.